The Analytical Mind Of An Average Grinder.

Posted 4 years ago

I post on poker vip quiet often and i think its time i stopped using up so much room and just give myself my own section where people can come to read my nonsense. Hope you Enjoy!

About Myself

My name is Robbie, i am currently a full time forensic mental health support worker and have been for the last 6 months. I live in london and im 22 years old. I used to be a fitness instructor but formed a rare balance disorder that was caused by a rare migraine( basically i was extremely dizzy and unbalanced) and i was ill and unable to do much for about 3 years. It was a tough time as an 18 year old and a lot of hard days but luckily i found a great great great specalist who put me on medication+exercises+ CBT and im getting better all the time. In fact i would say im 95% better just a few head rushes now and then, but yes its good to be healthy! Im a full time gym addict, i had put on a lot of weight and 2 years ago when i see a 21st birthday picture i couldnt believe how i looked , i had to change it any way possiable! I still had some of my fitness knowledge so i organised some exercise and started working out in my garden. I was doing bulking and cutting cycles and results were coming, very slowly. When i weighed in i think i was 15st 10lbs and 27.7% bf...to put that into perspective i remembered weighing myself at gym before i was ill and i think i was 12st 4lbs and 16.8%bf. I had a plan and made sure i worked hard and proved i could do it. Anyway to cut the story short next month i would have been training for 2 years. Im currently 10stone 13lbs and 15.3% bf ...something im very proud of myself for doing. I have a look more muscle then i would have (at just under 11stone i can improve on this though) and i look a hell of a lot leaner. So gym is very important to me and yes i eat strict.....and yes i carry tupperwear in my bag to eat wherever i go haha. I live at home still with my mum, dad and sister. I have a good family who im fairly close too. I passed my driving lesson 4 months ago and my sister gave me her old car which is a 4 door ford something, im awful with cars, but yes its very nice.

So yes that my life currently.

I also forgot to mention the other great love of my life....T.H.F.C!!...Tottenham Hotspur Football Club ofc.


Poker History

I put a lot of effort into poker around this time and was doing well playing 50nl on sky with awful brm. As i put more effort into poker my game improved more and more and i built a bigger range of methods to learn. From just reading forums i joined training sites, skype groups, etc. I had some good results on sky, the highlight was winning a £11 rebuy for £1.1k. My illness was extremely disappointing at the age of 18, when everyone else was planning there future and going to uni etc i was stuck at home feeling ill , looking ill and gaining weight!....but it gave me a platform to find out about poker. I couldnt do a lot of active stuff as walking far was even impossible so online poker made a lot of sense. I had gained enough confidence to put a decent roll on partypoker and played 25nl , i had set times i woke up and played, i done well and beat the stake for a decent winrate, so i moved to 50nl and was doing well over 30k hands but then had a downswing and decided to withdraw my money and bottle it completely ! i think i wanted to have a spell away from the game as the inbalance of my life had caused me to become sick of poker in a sense. I had also improved in health and was going dog walking to get used to a working routine again...dog walking was my aunts business so i was helping her out 2 days a week. Sitting in front of a computer offering nothing was becoming a problem with me...i wanted to give back to people and help others so like i said thats why i withdraw my roll. A short spell after to get back to work i decided i would go somewhere 3 times a week to push my recovery on.....aspers startford! I had never played live and discussed with my sister if she would be interested in going 50/50 for a 30% share in me. So we each put £750 together for a 1.5k br and a 2buyin stoploss for the day. I done okay but the experience was worth more then anything, i got to see different types on poker players, not the young smart people i see on tv and on my skype groups....but gamblers, and it was fascinating to study there theorys and thought process and approach to the game. Also it has a great balcony overlooking parts of london so that made it feel extra special. Long story short i played cash games roughly 4/5 hours a day 3x a week. I had 1 good week, 1 bad week and 2x average weeks for a profit of +£90 after travel expenses which isnt great but i gained a great deal from the experience and at 21 years old not a lot of people would have the chance....thanks illness for giving me the chance to rebuild in this way ! I qualified for a monthly rake tournament as i had played 21 days (some days counted as 2) and the 1st prize was 10k....i was really excitied and studied a lot on skype and shoving maths etc and managed to finish 18th/200 for £440 which was a big overachievement for me and was great to pay my sister £120 for 1 months work to thank her for her trust.

What i hope to achieve for this diary

Basically i see this diary as a platform to learn. Like i say i post a lot on the site and this diary will give me a chance to post questions and theories and just general topics i think would be helpful and interesting. Hopefully i gain some good poker friends who can keep my chin up when things get tough....i get disheartened very easily and will constantly go from feeling great about my game to feeling like i should quit. Please post if u read and ask whatever you like!

Poker Icons

When i think of poker Greg Merson stands out, his story of getting of drugs before winning the wsop is amazing imo. He also used to play to win money to buy drugs, obv that is not advised but even when he was drugged up he was still intelligent enough to win, which i think shows how smart he is.

Theres many people that have helped along my poker journey, iv never met any poker people in real life i would like to though. I dont even mean massive players. Just good poker people from sky pokers Tikay, Ryan spittles, tommy dyer and stuart rutter. DC's Threads13. wiltontilt, and someone i really admire Jay Rozenkrantz?

Id also love to meet Alex Millar...i hear he lives in london and it would be great to just talk to him about his life.

Also a fan of actually big name players: liv boaree , dan smith, justin bonomo, jake cody, mike mcdonald, phill hellmuth, issac haxton.




So thats me ! hope you enjoyed reading and it wasn't too long. I will update after every session and hope to get good feedback, post your thought !
Jon-PokerVIP

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Jon-PokerVIP

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Posted 4 years ago
Following with interest!

Before i fire out a ton of questions can you tell us more about your job?
Posted 4 years ago
How is the poker math going? Still going at it?
Posted 4 years ago
Jon-PokerVIP: Following with interest!

Before i fire out a ton of questions can you tell us more about your job?


I work in a residential house, which is baiscally a house with room where people live , a living room , kitchen etc also an office for us and we support them to live there daily lives and support in whatever they need. Some you think why are u here u seem fine and others theres a strong chance they will always be there.

Its a middle house basically from hopsital > to our house> there own house with support.

The forensic bit is they have all gone through the criminal justice system, it can be from little crimes like stealing from a car to big crimes.
Posted 4 years ago
BarraBod: How is the poker math going? Still going at it?


Iv focused more on my cgame weaknesses and my mental game lately. I did give "killer poker by numbers " by tony guerrera more reading and tried some of the maths in it but for some reason i was getting double the answers i should. The hard bit with maths is i have no "teacher" here to correct me and show me where im going wrong or if its correct.

i think im going to watch "mathematics of nl holdem" by wiltontilt and try learn that way. Maybe ill get a partner to watch it with on teamviewer so we can help each other out.
Posted 4 years ago
UPDATE

So i worked 8 - 4:30 yesterday but managed to get a decent amount of revision in while at work as it was fairly quiete. Im focusing much more on my mental game lately as i done more reading on the process of learning, the Adult learning module and inchworm concepts. There all fairly interesting to me and i included 4 of my biggest c game weaknesses to reduce them to the level of unconscience competence ( basically where you so trained its correct u never have to think about it, its natural no matter what mood were in....such as raises AA from utg when dealt it). I also just wrote on a yellow sticky some things to remember that i was reading about. I have a problem with getting angry when i get aggression vs me and basically it could be due to the fact i want to control players, have it all my way and believe i have more control over poker. Its true that we actually have so much less control then we realise, we just bank on the maths aspect becoming true over the long term.....but no matter how good we are we can never be in control of poker, how much we win, how often we win etc....we can just improved the chances of it by studying hard.

Anyways the session went well, i was happy with how much i focused on volumne and what game i was playing (A game, B game or C game) and didnt worry about my balance as no matter how much i think about it it will not influence how much i win, however if i focus on playing my best possiable game over a good amount of volumne then it will likely = $$$. I played well from the start and was playing a bit tighter and focusing on not putting in passive dead money oop and making sure i can a plan for future streets. 90 mins in and i was dwn a few buyins, both times i think i could do better, one was a AA hand then had been c/r on the turn on dry board and another was me bluffing on a board i shouldnt of. I kept going a won a few nice pots and ended the session +$79 which i play 20nleuro so i never really know the buyins, about +3 i think. I also played 5 tables for about 35% of the session and as long as i feel comfortable today playing i will play 5 tables for 50% of the session. I want a decent volumne session today as im working 9-9 monday and 11-9 tue....so ill try just study on those days at work.

Session summary:

Hands played: 1,287 over 215 mins
Amount won: +$79.90
Mental game: Low A -game
Technical game: High-medium B game

Going for my first ski lesson at hamel hampsted today , it was an extra present from me for my sister as i just wanted to get her something completely random that i didnt think she would expect....and whats better then a ski lesson in june! I will then try to grind later tonight.

Hands

Posted 4 years ago
unfortunatly i cant post the hand i wanted as im the wrong player all the time which is really frustrating lol
Posted 4 years ago
robstars7: unfortunatly i cant post the hand i wanted as im the wrong player all the time which is really frustrating lol


Just post it on WeakTight and screenshot the image onto here?
Posted 4 years ago
Ski lessons sound pretty fun! I used to go snowboarding quite a bit as a kid on the sheffield dry slopes!

Posted 4 years ago
UPDATE

The ski lesson was alot of fun and me and my family had a laugh doing it, its a lot tougher then it looks and i think we all had a fair number of falls. Played on sunday went i come home and was fairly disciplined again and mostly played well, need to keep consistent with my mental game and to keep working on the things which make my "a game" ...i need to focus on replicating them as much as possiable. Been working loads lately so havnt played mon or tuesday and i havnt been able to put that much reviison in either which is annoying as i want to keep working hard when not playing altho i will work on some stuff tommorow, im getting a new tattoo, one on my bicep of the london skyline so hopefully i will have enough time to revise as i also got to cook aswell. Will have time to play tommorow night i think.

Really want to watch some wsop or the high stakes cash game today, but im not going to be waiting up until 2am i dont think haha...btw delighted for johnathan duhmel his a great player and seems a really nice guy, his starting to get an impressive cv with that and a wsop main event win to his name.

If u read please comment and tell me about your game, always interested to talk to other players!
Posted 4 years ago
What the July plans and goals?
Posted 4 years ago
Just to continue with the goals i made on june 20th:

1) To consistently work on my 4 biggest c-game mistake (i wrote a list of them and there hung up where i play) to eventually train my mental game to the level of unconscience competence with at least 3/4 of them. ( review 1st of august)

2) to gain more stable confidence so im not always on the verge of either crushing or quitting poker. (review 1st of august)

3) To play 18 k hand in july ....23k is the higher target. (review 1st of august)

4) get back to playing 6 table every session from the start ( 1st of august)

5) To beat 20nl 4.5 bb/100 (review 1st of september)

urs?
Posted 4 years ago
Hand Review

1)

https://www.weaktight.com/h/5593d339d3904385118b473d - this hand i wanted to know if this is a fold as iv posted it on a forum, and generally the view was to fold. I thought id put it into equitylab,
[12:48:57] RM/ .: i need 18% equity to call
[12:49:13] RM/ .: vs range : QQ-JJ,44-22,AdJd - i have 28%
[12:49:35] RM/ .: the QQ is a bit unlikely as even tho his 4 bet is low btn vs bb 3 bet i think he 4 bets giii here
[12:50:05] RM/ .: so i took out that and the ADJD and im still 22%
[12:50:08] RM/ .: so is the call okay
[12:50:52] RM/ .: the breaking pot equitywise seems to be the fact I have an A, which gives me the nuts if i hit a flush and basically the nuts if i hit a 5 ...so KSQS is a fold here

lazy iv copied from my skype group i no Sad

2)

https://www.weaktight.com/h/5593d7c5d39043c24d8b45c2 - iv lost so much value here due to us being so deep and be not really knowing what to do so deep, i was worried about a c/r on turn as he can do that with a lot of combo draws but id still fold to that action. vs a 42/30 fish

3)

THIS HAND IS PLAYED AS MY VILLIAN I AM "777SEVEN777"

where do i fold here? pre i think is okay and flop i cant fold, so turn ? i feel it should be a fold somwhere

https://www.weaktight.com/h/5593d99bd39043b46d8b46cd


Posted 4 years ago
Update

I played while at work as the night shifts are really quiet. Iv quit an hour in as i felt i was playing so bad, unforcused and just predicatable. I was feeling tired and had no interest in playing, So frustrating to keep going over the same problems, all my c-game weaknesses come back today. I was passive putting money in the pot, barrelling bad turns, blufing with hands that had no way of winning the pot. Add a few unfortunate hands to that and it was a - 4.5 buyin day. Devestated i lost that much its a bmassive setback, so sick of not being able to put consistent perforences in, now im grinding just to get back to where i was.

Sometimes i really do feel like im just never going to improve, iv been trying to for so long and i havnt succeeded , i hope im not going to just waste my time trying to improve. All it feels like i do is lose and then try and find out why > work hard> have a session where the problem is less> go back to having an awful session >cycle repeats.

Very downbeat after that session, cant find any positives , i hope some of you can find some.

Session Summary
Hands played: 406 over 80 mins
Amount won: -$109.5 ( although i lost £55 which isnt 110 i dont think )
Mental game: c game
Technical game: bad b
Posted 4 years ago
Hand 1 (AKs): very close decision. Were the numbers you put in for a turn call? The turn is definitely a call, the river is very close. I think he could even have A5s, overs and middling pairs, sets and missed draws in this spot.

Hand 2 (AKo): I would fire the turn again, the ten on the river would have worried me so I'd have called a small bet or checked back.

Hand 3(TT): I would fold the turn, you don't have much fold equity with all the draws there, villain can call you lighter.

Just my thoughts, I'm sure someone else will think differently Smile


If you feel your playing bad then quitting is definitely best! At least you recognised you weren't playing well. going through the session will help see where you went wrong.
Posted 4 years ago
BarraBod: Hand 1 (AKs): very close decision. Were the numbers you put in for a turn call? The turn is definitely a call, the river is very close. I think he could even have A5s, overs and middling pairs, sets and missed draws in this spot.

Hand 2 (AKo): I would fire the turn again, the ten on the river would have worried me so I'd have called a small bet or checked back.

Hand 3(TT): I would fold the turn, you don't have much fold equity with all the draws there, villain can call you lighter.

Just my thoughts, I'm sure someone else will think differently Smile


If you feel your playing bad then quitting is definitely best! At least you recognised you weren't playing well. going through the session will help see where you went wrong.


Thanks for the feedback.

Hand 1- yes the numbers were for the turn call, the river is a fold i have A high.

Hand 2- yes i prob should of fire again and seeing as its vs a fish i can beat small on the river i think too.

Hand 3- read the notes!!!!! im not 1010 im 777seven777 and i had AQ, just my hm2 is odd and it puts me as wrong players which is very frustrating when doing HH reviews lol .

Yes just annoying going back and fourth and making no progress, feels a waste of time sometimes.
Posted 4 years ago
Update

Decided to play at home as its more quiete, less distractions and more comfortable at work. I will use nightwork to study. Another dissapointing day results wise but didnt play awful just a few unlucky spots + a few too many loose calls. I dont feel like im playing that well lately and the lack of progress is really starting to drain my poker motivation. It feels like everyone else can make progress reasonable quick and iv just been stuck at the same spot for ages. I could understand if i give no effort i wouldnt moan, but i do a lot of study things others wouldnt do and just feel a bit short changed by what iv got to show for it.

Just feel like whats the point? even if i go on a mssive upswing i never learn the stuff to the level of unconscience competence, i just go back to making the mistakes the next day. Iv just got so many mistakes in me, im feeling nervous about studying and playing as i feel like im making myself look a fool by work so hard and achieveing so little?

If this sounds familuar then please leave your feedback. Thinking of having a coaching session but the last one wasnt very helpful really, as we just done HH reviews, i need somone to look at the bigger picture and guide me the right direction .

Not the start to the month i wanted, for the first time since i deposited in mid may im not in profit on coral.

This month :

Attached Image


Overall :

Attached Image


Hands from today :

HM2 is lagging atm so maybe ill be able to post them later.
Posted 4 years ago
Ah bad stuff bro and so sorry to see it is effecting you mentally with the "whats the point comment". This basically needs to be decided before you continue grinding imo. If you was not worried about the results, loving the game and seeing the light then my advice would be to grind hard and don't stop. But if you have this view on it we need to sort that asap,

So what can you do?

IMO literally write down the pros and cons to poker on here right now and then i will fire the next one at you. Be as honest as possible bro!
Posted 4 years ago
Pros:

- the mental battle
- the fact its down to you how much you can gain ( its up to u to study,play,work out how to win etc)
- money is involved
- i like cards
-the chance to have an extra income
- potential to play for a lot of money in the future (alot meaning 100nl + )

Cons:
-very time consuming
-hard to measure progress
-have to lose a lot even when good
- a lot of setbacks
- so many people all doing the same thing so hard to know why you will succeed
- Getting stuck at the same level for a long time
- problems always seem to come back in the future even when you think youve solved them
Posted 4 years ago
Have you read through the whole book of the mental game? It gets to chapters explaining exactly what your going through right now and how to deal with it. Maybe worth skipping to that part if you've not done already.

You could maybe even join a new site, a softer one, to get you confidence back! Only problems with that are the soft sites don't allow a HUD!
I'm sure there are plenty ways around this and I'm sure we'll find one!

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