Hi guys! Times are tough at the moment.
Or let's put it a better way. Life is testing me!
BUT... I have a quick look at the rest of the world and realise thet what I am going through is total BS and actually I am so lucky in so many ways that I just need to STFU and get on with improving myself
, improving my life and giving value
to the world in whatever way I can...
Work is totally **** right now... I won't give all the details as I don't know who is actually reading all my blogs but it is a horrible atmosphere to work in. I have to get out of there and I have to do it in the way that is best for my family
and for me...
I can't quite afford to just walk away right now. I do have income from my property portfolio that would help me but I need another £1000 per month to carry on living my current lifestyle
So, on the positive side, I believe I can make another £1000 a month selling ice to Eskimos so the money is not really a problem.
The trouble is, I work long hours at the moment so it is a little bit tricky for me to retrain
in anything! And I am definitely not qualified to do anything! Also I cannot imagine my current boss giving me a glowing reference as he is absolutely full of hate!!!
So, all this going on is affecting my sleep at the moment, I am waking up after 4 hours sleep
thinking about what to do and how to go about it.
This is transferring to my poker... I am simply too exhausted in the evening to play anywhere near my best! And study is totally out of the question... Every time I try to study I start to drift off to thinking about my future.
There is a bright side to this... I am shooting 25zoom at the moment...
Small sample but it is going pretty well! Of course you can guess why I don't show the actual money graph!
Point is, I am running pretty **** BUT, considering all the IRL crap going on at the moment I am handling the runbad pretty well. It is not just AIEV runbad I have been card dead a lot of the shot too. So there is definitely positives to take!!!
All in all, I am going through a period in life where it is my mindset
that is being tested (even in poker!)... I actually get a kind of masochistic enjoyment out of it (because I believe that when times are tough we make the most progress and grow the most).
I spent a lot of my life in "a dark place", wasting my life away and bringing negativity to the world. Hopefully I am past the turning point now.
Hopefully this is just another chapter in my self improvement journey
. I am praying, in fact, that this is the next "growth spurt"!So in summary...
Not studied much this past week and not putting the volume in (around 800 hands per day) but even if I did it would be wasted time...
I just need to sort my job out and redirect my life. I have got about 6 options all spinning around in my head and I need to take some time to make a good decision.
When I make that decision I will go all guns blazing
Until then, keep studying and keep making progress amigos!!! Love you all!!!