WARNING: My post at least will have lots of swearing. Cuz I was raised by drunken wolves, plus cuz you'll understand in a sec.

My buddy's getting married next weekend, and this weekend is the bachelor party in Vegas. I've been pumped all week. Naturally this heroic degen booked a couple extra days so I can piss off a grand or two challenge myself and play some 2/5 for the first time ever. Leaving tomorrow. Got my Amerikan dollars from the bank yesterday. Talked a bunch of Vegas with one of the regs at the casino last night. Packed today. Bought some hummus to make sammies for the flight. Telling everyone I know. Living the dream.

Try and use the phone app to try and check in for my flight, but it won't let me. I'm banging away on me phone for about 10 minutes. I handle it really well: "Fucking airlines, fucking cell phones, what the fucking fuck?" Finally notice that the date on my ticket is for NEXT Thursday. Fuck fuck fuck. Non-refundable ticket, gonna have to pay through the nose to get a new flight. Is it worth it, can I cancel, is now a good time to panic, omfg what am I gonna do?

Stop for a sec, say, "Hey wait a minute, I'm a life nit, no way I would've booked the flight without quintuple-checking the dates, right?" So I look at the party's itinerary...then the wedding reservation...and sure enough, the party is NEXT week, and the wedding in 2 weeks. And tomorrow I'll be back at my local casino, trying to explain why I'm such a moron that I don't even know what day it is, but that they should still fold to my turn raise.

The groom pointed out that at least I didn't drive an hour to the airport to find this out. And now I have one more week to lose some weight for the tux. But jesus christ i'm too old for this.