"So whats the plan now?

I really have no idea."

This will be the biggest problem right now. When you had a plan you felt motivated. You worked your plan and got results so had that good positive upward spiral going on. Then something slips, and another thing, suddenly the plan isn't working or you're not working to it at all. Then you find yourself not knowing what to do or even seeing a way out. That upward spiral is heading downhill fast.

MAKE A NEW PLAN.

Nothing will switch you're outlook faster than knowing what you are going to do to make things better.

Ok, so lets address your points;

1. 'I didn't seem to get far enough
comparing your goals/achievements to someone else's is not going to be beneficial as people have different goals and are going to achieve them in different ways. People that comment [family friends, well wishers] will usually not fully understand what you are doing and may be ignorant to the process or just comment on things flippantly. So yes, focusing on yourself is the best thing to do. What would be a credible comparison is if someone was the same weight as you and had started their journey at the same time, however it will be rare to find that. Sod what everyone else is saying just know that everyone here is supporting you for what you are doing, so ignore the people that are telling you where you should be!

2. Confused
Peoples suggestions and guidance can be different however look for a reliable source and info that correlates with success. All I would say is that you know where you are going wrong - your so called balance [the extremes of 3 hour gym sessions and cous cous salad one week and booze takeaways and no gym the next] There is no point in tackling it this way you are just not making any progress and undoing all the good work you have done the previous week. Regular sensible gym sessions and eating healthy is the way to achieve your goal.

3.Laziness
Procrastination, lack of motivation, this hits everyone at some point just organise and prioritise. Input in your diary your gym sessions in advance, writing it in your diary will make sure you have planned for it and will make it part of your day to day.

4. Addictions
This is hurting you more than anything else, it is offsetting all the good work you are doing. Maybe a healthier option for takeaway [i.e. nandos] this is something that you need to overcome like someone quitting smoking there are many different approaches i.e. cold turkey or patches etc. As for the alcohol cut this out/substitute and your weight loss will be made a hell of a lot easier, everything you are burning off in the gym is offset and then some by alcohol, so calorific, its carbocide!!

5.Self concious
Know that people who are laugh or make fun of obese people in the gym are ignorant. Why people would laugh at someone who is proving that they are making a difference in their lives I don't know. They should be ashamed and lots of people do shame them! I have trained people a lot bigger than you and a hell of lot sweatier. There is one guy at my gym who is really big and really sweaty but works his nuts off and people are watching him because he is INSPIRING and MOTIVATING!! whilst others are arbitrarily curling they are watching him because his energy is amazing. Listening to your mental gym routines of 3 hours + and 1 rep max lifting I would imagine if people are looking at you [which I doubt they are its more than likely you feeling self concious] it is for this reason. Know that people who are in the gym are predominantly good folk and they know that everyone has to start somewhere and they know you are in the best place for doing something about your weight!

Why is it not feasible to take yourself out of your environment and immerse yourself in a positive environment with people who are living healthy lifestyles?? Put it this way if I really wanted to learn French I would stay with a French family for a while, if Phil Ivey asked if I wanted to stay with him for a bit you know I would jump at the chance. It comes down to priorities.

If you really want it you will find a way.

Hey Jon,

No pressure from me then mate. If you find the motivation to keep on with it then I'm 100% in your corner and will encourage you all the way.

If not, then it's your decision and I'll support that too. Most importantly, if you have a happy life then that's the main thing and whatever way you go I just want you to be happy as you're a great bloke you gives so much support to others around this forum and in their journeys that I'm in your corner no matter what.

Yeh you know its very weird when i read "make a new plan" i just thought to myself whats the point...i will only break it.

Shows how bad my mindset is right now.

@andrewshaw81

Some really nice comments there.

Didn't get far enough: Yeh man i know it just got so demoralizing. If i lost weight people could not tell, if i didnt lose weight they would say i should have.

Confused: Every trainer i used are all qualified and seem to be very confident in what they say + themselves look very good. So i still don't think this one has been solved as if they are all qualified, own gyms, look good and their members get results then which one do i trust?

Laziness: I think i can overcome this. I have done it before and will do it again!

Addictions: Yeh i know this is the main killer for me right now but tbh i am starting to feel fed up of it and just don't even want to see another pizza or bottle of rum right now. I have deffs overdone it so hopefully tonight i can prove to myself that i dont need to have one. If i do then i guess i gotta talk to somebody and get past this.

Self conscious: I knew you would say that people are watching in a good way but i do disagree and i don't think i am wrong or being down on myself for doing so. Some i know have watched because i am doing well but others i know are looking for the opposite reasons. I need to just not care i know but so much easier said than done.


As for why can;t i just go away for a month it comes down to a lot of things.

1. Poker
2. PokerVIP
3. Family

If i just up and went for a month all of these things would be seriously effected. Does it matter if i dont play poker for a month...no! Would VIP let me take a month off ....yes, but would my family be able to function properly....no. I do to much with them and it would jsut mess everything up. Dont get me wrong they would do everything they could and not be mad at me for going...i am sure they would push me out of the door but it would just weight on my mind for the entire time.

It is a sad reality that wherever we go in this world we get judged by our appearance. A sad fact that I feel will never change and will only get worse in the society we live in today. I think weight is a very sensitive issue for many and although I cannot perhaps say I know EXACTLY how you feel when you said you feel like a monster sometimes, I can certainly relate to that in many ways myself.

Being a woman, I am judged firstly on my looks by most and I am also a very self conscious person, as you know! I tend to shy away from nights out etc, because I am in no way a girly girl. I sit surrounded by these women who are glammed up to the eye balls, fake hair, fake nails, stylish clothes and tanned skin and I feel like some hideous beast and want to hide away. Maybe a bit of an over reaction but that anxiety is always in me. I guess it is just a case of being comfortable in your own skin, which I feel is very hard to achieve for a lot of people these days because people have such high expectations on looks.

What I would suggest for you is to take a step back. Start by making your diet better, cut out those pizza's and stick to a couple of nights drinking a week and gradually work it down to a decent diet and no alcohol, or once a month. Why don't you get a treadmill, a bike or cross trainer and just go for it in the comfort of your own home? While you are watching your favourite TV shows, do a fast paced walk at the same time, absolutely sweat your bollocks off, do whatever you need to do without needing to worry. I think once you see the weight coming off again you will feel much more comfortable and confident going back to the gym. And don't focus on bulking up being mr muscle like all these meat heads in the gym, just do what you feel comfortable with, at the pace you want!

Be this guy lol

Ok so my rebuttal
1. Frustrating yes but people will notice your body composition change several weeks after you do so its annoying when they don't realise or just keep their comments to themselves
2. Advice; yes the specifics may differ, hopefully the common denominator should be regular sensible gym sessions and eating sensibly - more of those delicious and nutritious meals you were posting pics of. Remember moderation - no crazy Isuldur swings
3. Laziness and motivation; yep this hits us all you will get round this just remember how good you felt after those sessions of MMA - ps it may be tough to find but a gym buddy would be fantastic,
4. Its good that you are addressing this, mate you play a game that requires discipline and strength of mind [hero folds laying down when you know you are beat! Just got to find a way to apply this to your fitness and diet.
5. Ok so if there are these gym trolls who do smirk at you when you train then you need to find a way around it. More MMA one to one or home work outs in the morning before you play - you know this will improve your game!

@andrewshaw81 Solid rebuttal! And tbh i agree with everything you are saying and i am going to get back on track starting today. Even if it's just starting off eating well and feeling better about myself. I have kept off the booze for 2 days now and feel amazing for it. I sadly still have had takeaways both nights. So the aim for today is no takeaways and no booze and i hope that continues until at least Sunday.

One step at a time and I will get there!

Its interesting how you say i have discipline with poker so i should for this and your right. This is actually something that has been bothering me as i hate to fail but always seem to at everything asides from poker.

Ok gang - lets do this!

Have any of you guys tried Metafit. Its a 20 minute class based on increasing your metabolic rate and working big core muscle groups. The idea being that your body will burn more calories at rest and after the 20 minute class your body continues to burn calories for the following few hours. Significantly more calories than you would burn on a exercise bike for an hour and a half for example. Its a brutal class as its maximal with very short recovery times but certainly got me fitter than I have been since I left the military! Its worth a look.

I have not but keep hearing about it and see the posters all round the gym i go to. "a 20 minute work out which burns calories for 24 hours" i think it says. Not sure i would be anywhere near fit enough to do it!

Don't worry about not being fit enough. Its maximal so you just do as much as you can. Just accept the first time you go you might feel like you could die. However, after you have been a couple of times it gets rapidly easier to recover.

Combine that with a bit of yoga on after the recovery days and I feel like a happy guy again. I just watch some dudes on youtube that are decent as going to a incense filled rooms with a pile of hippy ladies didn't really seem like fun.

I know maybe sometimes we get fucking tired of listening to audios or whatever... but I believe this guy has a very strong clue of why we set goals and don't follow and of how to follow, etc...

This is a 30 day program. Just listen to the first audio and if you find it interesting just follow it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV4aOcn12Rs

By the way... I really understand you when you say you feel confused becuase there's so much information everywhere and everyone has so many different opinions that it is hard to know and tell which one is the best or works. In my experience, I decided to test things myself...

YO everyone. Little update - i got back to the gym once and that has been it. My eating is not great but not as bad as it could be. I am currently talking to some different companies about weight loss programs and will report back.

I think this might confuse you even more. Also unless this program is tailored specifically for you (and I don't mean some guy telling you it is, I mean some testing of your current fitness level, measurements etc. + adjustments along the way) it's almost certainly not worth it with so many amazing free programs out there.

Here's the thing. Fitness industry is so fragmented and confusing because every year a lot of companies have to sell you a bunch of new stuff that don't work to make a profit. I'm going to simplify all of this for you.

The vast majority of people needs only 3 things to lose weight: caloric deficit, discipline and training (in that order, discipline is more important than training because it's impossible to outrun a bad diet). There are some rare situations where this won't work (hormonal imbalance so severe that it makes one unable to lose fat and requires medical help or actual food addiction which requires help of a licensed therapist with experience on this particular subject) but for the most part that is all.

When it comes to diet. Simple:
1. Weigh yourself and take some measurements (waist + maybe chest and hips)
2. Figure out your BMR.
3. Cut up to 20% calories from it (not more unless you're bad at tracking macros and you want to give yourself a safety buffer, but even then 25-30% is an absolute max).
4. Count macros, eat clean foods (chicken, fish lots of green veggies, some fruits and all of this preferably boiled/baked and not fried), use protein supplement but only if you need it to hit your macros which should hover somewhere around 40% carbs, 40% protein, 20% (healthy!) fat. Don't worry about stuff like carb cycling, keto diet etc. etc. and don't even stress about % too much. If it's 60/20/20 or 10/60/30 on some days it's totally fine. You can eat 6 meals a day you can eat 3. It doesn't matter that much.
5. Weigh yourself and take some measurements but only after a month of following this! After that, you can do it more often (every 2 weeks) because your BMR might change and you'll need to make slight adjustments to your diet.

Discipline:
This is the most important part of the whole process because it's impossible to outrun a bad diet. If you're addicted to food nothing is going to work for you until you sort that issue. Good news is that most people aren't and there's a good chance all you need is 2-3 months of clean diet with no cheat meals to develop new eating habits. You can do a couple of things to help you through this process. You're the average of 5 people you're spending the most time with so ditch drinking buddies and find some gym buddies. Start posting daily updates again. Find a smaller gym where you won't feel judged (even thou most people won't do that and those smart ones will applaud you for being in progress of making a positive change in your life).

Training:
Start with slow/moderate cardio.1hour a day of brisk walking is all you need to do for the first month. Don't go all in just to go all out. Diet is more important anyway. Stick some headphones in your ears and listen to good audiobooks so you don't feel like you're wasting time. Your primary goal is losing fat so keep that in mind. Since you're in a caloric deficit you can't build a lot of muscle mass if any but you're not an experienced lifter so it's not impossible. Also as a beginner you can definitely make some strength gains even on a caloric deficit. Because of that don't even look at machines and isolation exercises. They are pointless for your goals. However, you don't want to lose any muscle mass while cutting so some form of resistance training is necessary. I highly recommend three major compound movements (squat, deadlift, press). Find a good free strength training program online and follow it (a lot of people reported good results following 5x5 and Candito 6 week strength program you can also research Starting Strength but don't obsess over it, just pick one and you're good). If you don't have trusted gym buddy hire a knowledgeable coach for the sole purpose of teaching you the correct form for those 3 lifts so you don't injure yourself (ditch him after that before he has a chance of selling you some amazing, revolutionary pre-workout). Also remember that bench press is the only gym exercise that can actually kill you so find a spotter or substitute it with standing shoulder press (it's not ideal but you're not trying to be a powerlifter, you're trying to preserve and/or maybe build slight amount of muscle mass and make some strength gains that will make you feel more confident, motivated and will help in the future when you cut a bunch of weight and decide that you want to switch focus on building muscle mass).

Supplements:
Nothing works. Seriously. There's so much broscience on the subject and so many people trying to sell you their own brand of bullshit that you shouldn't trust anyone. The only two things that are scientifically proven to work for building/preserving muscle, are protein powders (but protein in food works just as well so use powders only for the sake of convenience to hit your macros) and creatine. That's all. And even with those two there's a bunch of misconceptions. You don't need both casein protein and whey protein for different purposes, you don't need "loading period" when using creatine. Buy some protein (from whey, casein, soy, rice, bean it doesn't really matter especially if you eat meat) and drink pre or post workout shake on days when you would have trouble with hitting your macros otherwise (again doesn't matter there's no such thing as anabolic window as long as you eat some protein between your workout and sleep you're fine). Buy some creatine and eat 5mg per day (skip a week after 4-6 weeks of daily usage). That's all. You don't need pre-workouts, fat burners, BCAA, HGH Boosters, Methoxyisoflavone and all that nonsense. It's just snake oil. If you're having trouble getting pumped for a workout... drink coffee.

One last thing building/preserving muscle is not end all be all. If your diet is not on point you might want to supplement Omega 3 (but it's better to eat nuts and fish), vitamin B12 (but you can find it in meat) or vitamin D3 (but it's better to go outside on a sunny day, again eat some fish and drink orange juice).

Hope that helps. Good luck and have fun sir.

@MattVIP Thanks for such a thoughtful post.

Measurements: Ok will do and will report back.

Discipline: I don't know how i could be so disciplined for like 7 months and then just let it all go. Really worrying tbh and shows that i am a weak person is this aspect of my life! I will improve on this and it all comes down to just not doing something - can't be that hard right?

As for the smaller gym i think this could be a really good idea. There is actually a health club/spa opening this month at my local golf course. It is going to be very expensive and luxurious which will mean it will attract a small more up market crowd who will probably not use the gym and will be there more for the hot tub and champagne. So i will go for a tour as soon as it opens!

I feel for the training i could map out a really good routine for myself which would come from enjoyment, history and just what i knew worked before. I will start slow and build up and up until i can get back into some really good solid work outs. Obviously right now i just need to get in there and move!

One thing i am looking into is none surgical weight loss which includes 5 meals being made for me per day, body wraps to help prevent skin loosening and also ultra sound which loosens up fatty areas which are hard to target with exercise. Obviously the cost of this is pretty huge and would call for one hell of a commitment from me - no eating bad foods for 3 months, turning up to all sessions, exercising on the side and no alcohol so i have some serious thinking to do on this subject!

Big post coming soon

Intrigued............

Ok so here it goes

I have obviously fallen off and ran 1000 miles away from the wagon. Bad food, alcohol and laziness proved once again they are more important to me right now than living a healthy life and making it to an old age. I really don't know why this happened after such a long battle in the gyms and eating well. I estimate to this day i have now spent over £7000 on personal training/gym memberships and i am now back to almost my heaviest of all time. So obviously money isn't making me do anything different which is worrying as that is a lot of money.

So August is the month and as is now. I am going to try my best to have a complete month going for it and getting back into the swing of it. People will say i am going 110% again which could burn me out once more or whatever but i just gotta do it this way as i am an all or nothing type guy.....which i am sure you all realize by now.

So current weight on my home scales is 23+ stone. I say + as my scales only go up to 23 stone so i am the butt of the joke as they are literally saying to be continued.... So i will never weigh myself elsewhere and i hope to see my weight sow up properly on the scales and maybe even get close to 22 stone. That's the aim!!!

So the plans

1. Drink only water all month.
2. Go to the gym at least once per day everyday.
3. Go on evening walks with my mum from time to time.
4. Eat 4-6 meals per day which will be healthy, high in protein and generally home made.
5. Kick the takeaway habit.
6. Kick the alcohol habit.

I am sure i will slip up on some of these things but i am aiming for this.

Each say i will document these things:

1. Pictures and descriptions of all my meals.
2. Gym sessions - What i did and for how long.
3. How i am feeling.

So here we go again......some people say i failed, i agree but just like poker - health and weight is a long game so lets go!