Well, guys. Time to share some of the thinking I'm having right now, not only in poker but also in my life.
Right now I'm wondering how much importance should poker take in my life. I think I could better be a recreational player rather than taking it as serious as I've been taking it.
Is it really accomplishable (sorry if that word doesn't exist; not sure) to go from NL2 to NL200 and actually win money on a regular basis at that limit? Well I don't know becuase right now I'm playing NL10.
But I look backwards and analyse how much time I've spent just playing (without counting how much time I've spent studying) and can't avoid wondering again if this is worth the effort.
If I consider being a recreational player, that would mean I will not respect my bankroll anymore. I will pretend I just go to the casino and play on a normal table. So If I win,that's great and If I lose, bad luck.
I think that's what I'm gonna start doing guys. I have a bankroll of $370. Why not just play at NL50 in one table or two? If I do well, then great and otherwise then I just play for fun, not to make a living nor anything similar.
Because come on! I've played around 380k hands so far and just win around 0,90bb/100. What makes me think that will be different when I play at NL200? If I ever reach to that limit? Winning will be as difficult or even tougher that what winning is right now in NL10.
Being a recreational player for me means I don't have to play 30k hands per month, I don't bother to think about bankroll anymore and just "play for fun". Because I realise that taking poker seriously is way too difficult and demands a lot of my time. Time I could be spending doing, maybe, something better like reading a book.
However, I do love poker and I want to play poker now and then. I like being in my laptop playing poker whenever I'm bored. But I think I just can't be 2 or 3 hours a day playing this virtual game and want to make this of my life.
Today I played 6 hours of poker. 1st session was of 2hours and ended up 1 buy in down.
Second session was of 4 hours. Enden almost even:
4 HOURS!!!
This is my month so far. I was doing great, now not so great but still winning:
SOME STATISTICS:
- This month I've played 28.866 hand in 2976 minutes. That makes it to 49 hours, which means TWO WHOLE DAYS PLAYING POKER.
- Since I started playing 10 months ago, I've played a total of 345.561 hands (NL2, NL5 and NL10) in a total of 32.748 minutes. That means a total of 546 hours. 22 WHOLE DAYS PLAYING POKER. That's almost a month of my life. I still would need maybe a couple of more months in order to make it to a whole month. That's the time I've been in Europe last april, which was probably the best trip of my life so far.
So why do I mention all this and why do I want to share it? I'm a guy who thinks a lot about life and what to do or how I'm living it. I've been through tough times like many people in this world. And I'm also very grateful for what I have and for the life I've been given.
Whenever I have to make a decision or I'm having a problem in my head (which many are really stupid. Like for example when we people think about taxes we have to pay or a stupid debt or whatever), I usually wonder If that is worth enough to worry about and If that is something I'll remember the day I'll be living my last minutes of life.
So If I make a summary of my life right now, I will just remember the best times of it and maybe a couple of bad ones. I will not regret about anything but what I'm certain is that I will not remember stupid things like a stupid fight with my sister or, I dont know... maybe any other thing like when a truck crashed my parked car.
Will I remember poker? Is poker that important so as to put a smile on my face in 10 years? Will I think to myself "oh... such good moments... those were great times" like when I think, for example, about highschool or about the chess club I used to frequent?
For sure not. Because poker is a solitary game. Well, at least it is for me. Maybe not for others. But I just feel right now I'm not doing anything productive with this.
Had I spent those whole 22 days thinking about a new work project, that would for sure have been more profitable.
I don't think focusing so much energy on this is worth for me. I just want to share this with you because It's part of this journey.
I think that from now on I will just play at limits which are fun for me. Maybe one table or maybe two. Won't focus on playing a lot of hands anymore. And... if I can, I'll try to play tournaments which are fun for me and try to make a good result out of it.
So if I win big I win big. And if I lose that's it. But at least I think I won't spend soooo many hours on this.
JUST A THOUGHT. THANKS FOR READING!!!